Tread lightly on the things of earth

Today the dynamic-duo Bouvier adventure we began on Halloween, 2002 has come to a gentle end. Lillie died today as gracefully as I’ve ever seen, all on her own.

My prayer for each creature for whom we’re given stewardship responsibility has long been, “May this one be granted her fullest measure of days, lived in health and happiness. And when that full measure of days has arrived, may I have the grace to recognize it, not a day too soon, not a day too late, and on that day act with decisiveness and compassion to assist this little one out the door in peace.”

Today Lillie made living out that commitment easier for me than I’ve experienced before. The situation was almost, “Okay, gotta go now, bye-bye.” She left on her terms, when she was ready, which is just like her.

When we met Lillie and Emma for the first time that long-ago evening in 2002, I didn’t foresee Lillie being my girl. I thought big ol’ Emma would be; her size reminded me of our dearly departed Newfoundland, and so I was especially drawn to her. But Lillie thought otherwise and bonded to me in short order.

Lillie was always a doggie dog — no teddy bear behaviour from her, no sir. She usually kept her own counsel, not feeling much need to communicate with us in sappy ways. But as Stephanie often pointed out, when push came to shove, Lillie nearly always let on that I was her special person. (How many times did I hear a reverberating “thok” on the bathroom door while I was showering, look out, and see she had butted it open with her head to come in, lie down, and be with me?)

In these last months I think she enjoyed being Tia Lillie to our new rescue ‘doodle mix Eli since he arrived last October. Sometimes Eli bugged the stew out of her, but I think his affection for her and his nonstop young-pup playfulness added months to her life. It’s fun to watch a 12 year old dog play again.

RIP, my stalwart, stubborn, devoted, no-drama friend. I love you.

(When Lillie arrived, Stephanie called her “fierce huntress of the plains” because she would brook no invaders of our back yard. She’d sit outside very still, watching, watching, then Zooooom! Off she’d go in a flash to run that squirrel- or bird interloper off to where it belonged: outside her domain.)

We rescued Emma the Bouvier back on Oct. 31, 2002 (along with her lifelong pal, Lillie). Their first 4-5 years had been tough, mostly left by themselves in a basement with little to do but eat, sleep, and only occasionally get to go outside. As a result, when we got her Emma was obese, dazed, and unable to trust.

In these seven years since then, Emma blossomed into one of the most present, big-hearted life enthusiasts I’ve ever known. She always thought a ride in the car was the best thing ever! Sometimes, looking deep into her beautiful big brown eyes, I think I saw an almost-human intelligence shining through.

Emma was sweet, compliant, motivated to please, all while maintaining a lovely (and non-fawning) sense of herself as an independent being.

Emma died today. RIP my big-hearted friend. I love you.

Well. I still sometimes feel like a stranger in a strange (and crazy) land.

We continue to witness clashing worldviews here in the U.S. that seem to me less like disagreements and more like we’re from different planets.

For example, the current U.S. health care reform conflagration. As I see it, I’m thinking, who in their right mind wouldn’t want the U.S. health care system changed, improved, made more effective, made more sustainable? (Even if it takes more than one try to get it right.) Yet many of us, including ones who stand to benefit the most from health care reform, are nevertheless violently opposed to any change¹.

Most of my explanations for this so far are fragmentary. “These people are stupid,” for example, tempting though it is to think, is not a comprehensive — or helpful — explanation.

I am absolutely determined to grok this multiplanetary-views-on-one-planet situation before I die.

Because, my thinking goes, if we really are all children of one God, as lots of us claim we are, then even my most batshit insane incomprehensible brothers and sisters deserve my attempt to understand where they’re coming from. (Why yes, it would be way easier to not give a crap. That has crossed my mind. But turns out I’m just not wired that way.)

So … I’m studying the Spiral Dynamics model at the moment, “a way of thinking about human nature [that] explores what makes us different and alike at levels deeper than the demographics of age or gender, economics or ethnicities.”

It’s a seriously big-picture understanding of human motivation and behavior.

(Here’s an excellent starting-point text-, and another graphical, description.)

I think it’s helping.

later in the day …

I’m reminded that the idea of a spiral of development has resonated with me for a long time. See Inconsistency has its place from May 2003.

next-day addendum …

It is important to try to understand each other, as I’m advocating here. It is simultaneously as important not to shy away from pointing out the extreme social and spiritual consequences of bearing false witness in hateful and ridiculous ways, as these townhall-protest teabaggers are doing. (“By their fruit you will recognize them.”)

¹Note that violently opposed is no exaggeration. When citizens attend U.S. representatives’ town halls yelling “Liar! Liar!” and displaying signs that accuse “Hitler! Nazis! Socialism! Fascism!” — and it’s significant that many of these yellers are older white folk, like me, who I charge should damn sure know better than to believe and propagate this illogical nonsense — then you know something is catastrophically flawed with the information distribution system in this country.

Four years later,

Today is the day that the curse is lifted.

Dear God, I can breathe again for the first time in eight years!
We have demonstrated to the world now that we are not, in fact, eat up with stupid.

I think this nation is going to come back to life now. As of tonight, immoral and ignorant are no longer cool. Decent and bright and informed are the new cool, no longer objects of ridicule and derision, but back in their rightful place as worthy values.

As a result, for the first time in years [because we will finally be bringing decency and informed clear thinking to bear on them], we will have traction when we face our problems. Now we can move forward.

Yes we can. Yes we have. The world is changed.

2008-12-19 update: Of course, even a curse lifted doesn’t imply we’ll immediately escape a tribulation of our own making. I take from Judeo-Christian scripture that, no matter to what degree God intervenes in human affairs, God almost never relieves anyone — individuals or peoples — from deeply experiencing the consequences of their actions [where in this case actions = having embraced self-proclaimed “conservative” thoughtlessness, self-righteousness, and the immorality that inevitably arises from all thoughtless self-righteousness]. Thus, for starters, seems to me, the [consequence of] deep recession is upon us.

Suddenly, I finally get Sigur Rós^*.

And now I am nearly speechless, in awe at the sheer melancholy beauty all around me as I proceed through each of their recordings.

As an example, check this lovely video of Glósóli, which ends in a way some of my dreams begin.

For other examples, there’s a generous selection of free MP3 tracks at the band’s website.

I’m surprised I took so long to get here, but I’m oh so glad to have arrived.

2007-12-01 update:
Ah! The Heima movie trailer (3:53, from “a film by Sigur Rós”) displays breathtaking Icelandic beauty — her landscape and her people. Jumps off the screen as National Geographic-caliber photography. Check it in the highest resolution you can.

^*Not in existential totality, of course, but enough to really appreciate what they’re doing

The thing I’m loving most about studying Spanish here in the U.S. is it’s such a big ol’ FU to [Lou] Dobbsian anti-immigration bigotry.